Family Work and Play

Long-term relationships like that of a Family tend to develop their own cultures and habits over time. While this is going on, the family can grow from being a married couple being parents with their children. When this occurs it is normal for the cultures and habits to change. These cultures and habit are widely determined by what the family does as a group. Two pretty common general actions a family take are family work and family play. Due to the fact that these two categories are pretty common in the family setting it stands to reason that both of these affect family cohesion and unity. The question however, is what does family work or play do to affect the family culture? To start these two categories are family building opportunities meaning that we are somewhat in control of their outcomes. These opportunities then create opportunity for bonding in the family.

Family work and play are family building opportunities in that they create an environment for a family to spend time together in a meaningful way. My family spent most time with the former rather than the latter. An example of family work in my life was when my father would take my brothers and I to help a member of our church move. It was fun and I interacted with my father most during those times. Not to mention the service we were doing was very fulfilling. I spent a lot of years in conflict with my father and it was during these moments where we were never at odds. I also felt close to my father in these moments. In contrast when my family and I would play games together more often than not one or all of us would get really competitive. I remember being a little kid and constantly getting frustrated because I couldn't beat my dad in a race. There were times when my family would play card games or board games together and while it was fun there was no real sense of bonding. We got to know how best to spark a conflict with each other though. Sometimes it feels like we spent more time in conflict rather than out of it. As we got older the serious competitivity died down and it was easier to have fun when playing games with each other. However, things could still get pretty intense. Once when I was playing a card game with my siblings my sister clawed the back of my hand a took a bunch of skin off. Regardless of the pain it was still a fun bonding experience. 

 This point actually leads me to my next topic. Family building opportunities through work and play create opportunities for bonding if used correctly. I emphasize, if used correctly. An opportunity can be misused if we don't know how to take advantage of the time properly. If used properly the effects on the children are astronomical. In a research article titled "The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds" located on the AAP website, it says, "Play allows children to create and explore a world they can master, conquering their fears while practicing adult roles, sometimes in conjunction with other children or adult caregivers." This particular quotes is specific to play, but I feel this applies just as much to family work as well. When parents work together with their children especially young children at basic things like household chores the child learns maintenance and problem solving. For young children it is also an opportunity for them to shape their views and opinion of work as whole. Many people see work today as a negative or a painful means to an end. By starting young, letting young children help when they want to help can allow them to begin viewing work as something positive. Play and work together in the family setting teach children valuable problem solving skills and it helps parents understand and get to know their children as well as each other. 

My parents do a lot of gardening together. My dad prepares the field and my mom plants the seeds. They don't have a lot of time to do this together, but it is something that they both make time for even if it's not together. As part of the effects of this activity I see my parents get closer. Mom and Dad both are happy to talk to each other about the work they've done in the garden they're always happy to show the work they've done as well. This work has been something that has brought them closer and it has shown. 

Things like work and play in the family are integral to positive family life. I invite everyone to think of ways they can spend time as a family to help build each other up and bond. I promise that no effort is wasted and it is never too late to put in your best effort. It is always worth it.